In Cheaper By the Dozen 2 (the biggest Oscar snub of 2005), there’s a scene in which Tom Baker, played by Steve Martin, is in the middle of an intense game of tennis against Jimmy Murtaugh, played by Eugene Levy. Tom, the fun-loving dad to the titular dozen, loses the game miserably and blames his defeat on his worn-down tennis shoes, which were covered with duct tape after a mouse chewed them apart. Jimmy responds: “A poor workman blames his tools, Tom.”
I think of that scene every time I attempt to use a waiter’s corkscrew to open a bottle of wine. I insist that it’s the cheap, unfussy corkscrew that’s to blame for my broken corks and near-shattered bottles when in fact, it’s just me. The best sommeliers in the world use the pocket-sized wine opener with the ease and grace of an Olympic figure skater while I sweat profusely and hope no one at my dinner parties (ah, the good ole days) is watching.
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